


Nepeta & Jade Get Some White Castle

by Classpectanon



Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [71]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Gen, Marijuana, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 14:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30006432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classpectanon/pseuds/Classpectanon
Summary: Nepeta and Jade both looked at each other over the kitchen table, each one blinking slowly, while Nepeta's mom popped the front door open with her foot and then kicked it shut behind her with a loud, rattling slam, the fine mesh second door swinging itself out and then back in, vibrating rapidly until it settled and clicked into place. She carried with her a most prodigious bounty upon request, several brown paper bags slightly damp with grease and full of White Castle hamburger sliders, which she cheerfully deposited onto the kitchen table. "Remember, you two, all things in moderation!" She instructed cheerfully before disappearing into her bedroom. Jade and Nepeta, eyes slightly bloodshot, stared and blinked at each other slowly, in the way that a cat that was fond of someone might.71/365
Relationships: Jade Harley & Nepeta Leijon
Series: Three Hundred And Sixty Five Ficlets About Homestuck [71]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2085684
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Nepeta & Jade Get Some White Castle

Nepeta and Jade both looked at each other over the kitchen table, each one blinking slowly, while Nepeta's mom popped the front door open with her foot and then kicked it shut behind her with a loud, rattling slam, the fine mesh second door swinging itself out and then back in, vibrating rapidly until it settled and clicked into place. She carried with her a most prodigious bounty upon request, several brown paper bags slightly damp with grease and full of White Castle hamburger sliders, which she cheerfully deposited onto the kitchen table. "Remember, you two, all things in moderation!" She instructed cheerfully before disappearing into her bedroom. Jade and Nepeta, eyes fairly bloodshot, stared and blinked at each other slowly, in the way that a cat that was fond of someone might.

"Have I ever mentioned how cool it is that your mom doesn't care about this sort of thing? That's really cool. I think you have a cool mom." Jade asked, her body feeling far too heavy to actually get out of the incredibly comfortable kitchen chair to lean forward for her meal. There wasn't any smoking today for her, just some of Nepeta's mom's medical edibles (which did not taste great, frankly), and already they were walloping her far, far harder than anything she had ever tried before. Her skin felt like it was sinking down into the ground, like gravity had decided it should maybe be twice, no, thrice as strong. Her thoughts were as slow and ponderous and dense as she felt, and her vision blurred behind her huge-rimmed glasses, skin absurdly aware of even the tiniest gusts of wind ghosting across of it.

Nepeta laughed quietly, feeling much less pinned down to the world around her than Jade obviously was, and gladly pushed one of the bags over to her so it would fall over and reveal its bounty. "Mew and every other friend I have." She joked, prying open her own bag of food and staring down into its depths like it was a forbidden treasure, before overturning it completely onto the table and letting the six sliders in their own wrappers just sort of fall out into a greasy pile. "I've never actually had White Castle before, I didn't even know we had one nearby?" Nepeta sort of half-asked to nobody in particular as one of her cats jumped up onto the table, sauntering over to the scent of delicious food before being unceremoniously kissed on the forehead and then pushed off. "No, I don't think mew can eat this. Sorry, buddy."

"It's just like... It's very... archetypical?" Jade replied, staring at one of the hamburger sliders with awe, a precious gemstone glittering with oil and onion scent. She delicately unwrapped it like it was a bomb about to go off, proceeding to unleash the burger upside-down onto the plastic tablecloth, along with several pieces of onion. "People who smoke cigarettes also enjoy whiskey. People who smoke weed enjoy White Castle, is what every piece of media I have ever seen has taught me. And junk food."

Nepeta laughed even harder, watching as Jade slowly flipped the hamburger over, painstakingly picking up every shred of onion and putting it back on the wrapper, her hands scrabbling for purchase against it. Nepeta had much more control over her fine motor skills, and simply picked up one of the sliders, unwrapped it, and took a bite while she considered her words carefully. She chewed and chewed, an unfamiliar and yet infinitely comfortable morass of fast food flavors mingling together in her mouth, tongue and tooth alike unconvinced that the food was anything other than pure gustatory sensation, without a hint of texture to be found. The savory sort of mouth-water of onions. Salty, melted cheese, the sharp bite of the single pickle chip. There was also, she supposed, burger meat there, and a pillowy, grease-soaked bun. It was, all in all, a fast food hamburger, although with more onions and fewer pickle than she was used to. "Jade, I think those are things from pop culture and not really very applicable to real life! Mew may have been watching too much Harold and Kumar."

"Huh?" Jade replied, looking back up at Nepeta, her brain having completely skipped through whatever it was her friend had just said. "I'm sorry, I was really just paying attention to this hamburger. Please forgive me."

Nepeta laughed even harder, trying to prevent food from spilling out of her mouth and mostly succeeding, reaching for a napkin from the napkin holder in the middle of the table so she could wipe her lips a little bit. "How about we just eat it and we can talk about big words and pop culture once mew are done eating?"

"Yeah." Jade replied, slowly, bringing the hamburger to her lips. Her teeth reached out like a grabbing hand, cleaving through all layers of hamburger at once, and pulling it back into her mouth, where it sat silently, waiting for Jade to put the rest of the hamburger back down onto its wrapper, on the table. Then, she chewed once, twice, three times, swallowing only tiny pieces before speaking with her mouth still mostly full. "Oh, wow."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. All views, kudos, comments, and bookmarks are appreciated.  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/classpectanon)


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